Election 2013

Election, a statement from Count Wrigley

Lieutenant Colonel His Illustrious Highness Osborne, Count Wrigley of Håle has sent this:

“Here is my statement:
I am standing for President of Ladonia as the leader of the pacifist Kill Everything Party.
Those of us who are privileged to be citizens of Ladonia have seen our country from a number of viewpoints, depending on where we have lived and what we have done. For me, it has been as a boy growing up in a dictatorship and as a young man getting educated in one of the most ancient countries on Earth. To me, our strange young country is a living, breathing presence, unimpressed by what others say is impossible, proud of her own success and her citizens, generous, never mean and always willing to provide a better life for her people.
Sadly, our incumbent inanimate President has done nothing to further Ladonia’s progress.
I want us to take up the unfinished business of perfecting our nation and building a better Ladonia.
Most Ladonians still do not speak our wonderfully expressive language. To them I say, “waaaaal ÿp, ÿp waaaaal”.
In the interests of fairness, I will create a Ministry of Ugliness and Crouch to parallel the current Ministry of Art and Jump.
I will end all our current wars by killing everything.
I am in this race not just to hold an office, but to transform a nation.
Vote for change. Vote for peace. Vote for victory.
Vote for the guy with the really long name.”

News Editor

Ladonia Herald staff writers are citizens of the Royal Republic of Ladonia who donate their time and expertise to help write and edit the news and contribute photos. All writers and editors are vetted by our editorial committee.

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2 Comments

  1. This delegitimizes Ladonia’s claims. You can’t be a pacifist and mass murderer. Sometimes it is okay to be tongue in cheek, but I want to hear sane responses by saner minds. I hear of a war against Sweden and the US, but what does this really mean? It is fun to be silly, sometimes necessary under the certain stressors imposed by Sweden as a means of releasing stress. I want to see Ladonia continue, and perhaps this is necessary to get the governments to laugh at themselves and their own ridiculous pomposity.

  2. This is utter nonsense. We need a sane president. I vote for Kenneth Seay.

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