Minister of Finance has been looking at a (in these days when there are no homosexuals in Iran) sensitive matter and has found something good for world economy:
“It is your Minister of Finance’s sad duty to inform the Cabinet of
Ladonia that we have uncovered a dangerous heretic in the employ of the
His view on homosexuals is that he approves of them. He states that for
every guy chasing other guys, that improves his odds with the women by
at least one, or by a factor of two if they are successful. He is
therefore damaging the economy because homosexual lovers seldom buy each
other diamond rings, splurge on expensive weddings, and are somewhat
less likely to purchase expensive showplace homes primarily to flaunt
their wealth to their (equally over-extended) non-homosexual neighbors.
He also makes the claim that the planet is overpopulated now, and
homosexual unions do not produce offspring (effectively lowering the
birthrate to zero), so homosexuality will therefore help save the
environment. This is in direct opposition to the well known and
evidently quite popular biblical injunction to go forth, be fruitful and
multiply. “More people” keeps both the clergy and the providers of goods
and services happy, while “fewer people” is a disaster for both.
Therefore, he simultaneously attacks the basic tenets of both rampant
consumerism and orthodox religion with his opinions.
I leave it to the Cabinet of Ladonia to determine the proper punishment
in this unfortunate case. Your input is solicited.
Minister of Finance”